


The Only Downside of Sharing a Bed with Kylo Ren

by kylosolo336



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, First Order Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Has Issues, hux is like your protective brother-in-law, kylo has bad dreams, kylo ren has absolutely no chill, kylo x reader - Freeform, kylo's patricide regrets are getting in the way of your sleep schedule, little short story about you and your favourite FO manchildren, reader needs a nap, slightly ooc hux but who knows he might have a soul in there somewhere, somewhere between TFA and TLJ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-05 11:26:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13386831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylosolo336/pseuds/kylosolo336
Summary: Post-TFA, Pre-TFA. Kylo Ren's nightmares have only gotten worse since murdering his father, and these bad dreams are now wreacking havoc on your sleeping habits. Hux realizes something's up and has to compensate for a very distracted and emotionally distraught Ren while he gets his sh*t together. You're just too exhausted for all this nonsense.





	1. Not so sweet dreams

Kylo Ren was a Grade A blanket hog.

He was also violently kicking his legs out in every direction imaginable, which is what had woken you up in the first place, and not for the first time that night. These night terrors he experienced had been happening for at least the past five or six nights without fail. Certainly they’d been there before that, but now, given recent *cough cough*.. _events_ , they were stronger than ever.

_Ow!! Fuck!!_

You brought your knee up to cradle in your chest as you lay in bed, eyes squeezed shut in pain, which after a moment subsided into a dull, throbbing ache. Eyes now snapping open, you glared up at the ceiling for what must have been the hundredth time that night. Your gaze shot over to dark mass of blankets and sheets to your right. Usually you’d be pissed about the blankets, Kylo would always swipe them out from under your nose. They were your shield from the cruel grip of the frigid night air in his Finalizer quarters, Okay maybe not frigid or cruel, moreso slightly drafty, but you wanted the goddamn blankets back. But tonight, you didn’t get to whine about the blankets.

You sighed wearily, pulled yourself up to a sitting position, legs crossed, reaching out carefully to lay your hand on his shuddering shoulder. Being cautious of his flailing limbs you gently shook him, trying to pull him out of the recurring nightmare that had decided to make an appearance tonight.

“Kylo…hey, wake up.”

The whimpering continued as you shook him a little more, brushing his damp hair out of his eyes. There was honestly nothing more heartbreaking and pitiful than hearing the _leader_ of the Knights of Ren _whimper_ like a kicked puppy. The moonlight that shone into the room from the window illuminated his face, which was contorted in pain, a single teardrop on his cheekbone, brow furrowed, jaw clenched. He wasn’t menacing or brooding, he was terrified.

The shaking and kicking had stopped but his breathing was ragged and shallow and he was curled in on himself like he was trying to hide from something lurking in the shadows.You withdrew your hand from his hair, studying him, he appeared to be calming down now. Muscles unclenching, brow relaxing. Hopefully the visions had decided enough was enough and to cut you a break.

Taking a quick look at the clock, it read 3:58 am. An rather unflattering groan escaped you, as you adjusted your shirt, ready to lay back down for the probably not the last time. Leaning back on your elbows, you looked up and caught a glimpse of an arm swinging out and headed towards you at lightspeed. Had it been a lightsaber, Kylo would have had a seriously decapitated girlfriend on his hands had you not pulled some super quick ninja moves. You dodged the attack just in time - although, not so gracefully - and rolled off your side of the bed to the carpeted floor, carpeting which didn’t seem to do much good as you landed on your tailbone with a resounding thud.

 _This_ of all things had startled him awake. Panting and drenched in sweat, he propelled himself out from underneath all of the covers and scrambled to your side of the bed, wide-eyed and looking down over the edge of the mattress in a panic.

“Y/N! What happened? Are you okay? How’d you get down there?”

He was hurriedly shoving himself off the side.of the bed. Laying on the floor you realized you probably would have been content just remaining there for the rest of the night. But alas, Kylo was now leaning down to scoop you up into his arms. He placed you delicately back onto the bed, eyes flitting back and forth frantically, hands running down your body checking for injuries.

“I’m fine Kylo, don’t worry. You um… you had another nightmare, I think, and I had to move fast to avoid certain death.”

You sat up, legs dangling off the side of the bed, looking down at your feet as he sat down next to you with a huff, left hand resting on your thigh. A hand that no longer appeared capable of accidentally bitch-slapping you into the next galaxy. His thumb brushed your skin softly, eyes fixed on some distant point, but unfocused, his mind still half caught up in the nightmare he just escaped. The two of you sat in silence for a few moments before you spoke up quietly.

“Sooo, you wanna talk about this one?”

Not expecting an affirmative answer, but hey, worth a try. You laid your hand on top of his which was placed on your thigh. Gripping his hand firmly in yours, letting him know you’re still there. He looked up at you, bags under his bloodshot eyes, brimming with tears, hair terrifically disheveled, he shook his head no. It wasn’t so much that you required him to tell you what was going on inside his head, you already knew.

Tonight’s was particularly bad, and with one look at your face he knew that you’d seen it too.The bond that existed between the two of you, that bridged your minds all hours of the day and night, allowed images and sometimes sounds from his dreams to infiltrate yours. Battlefields, death, lots of fire usually, echoing voices filled with hatred, and absolutely no way out. It wasn’t quite as gory, morose and vivid in your mind but the emotions were clear, powerful. You felt the pain he did, and as much as you would try to send calm thoughts his way, sometimes there just wasn’t much helping that could be done.

You preferred talking stuff out, Kylo didn’t operate this way, he kept things bottled up until they ate him up inside.You wished this wasn’t how he chose to deal, it’s obviously not the healthiest coping mechanism but after some rather intense experiences, you concluded it was best to learn to pick your battles with this one.

This week had been an excellent trial period for figuring how to calm the masked tantrum toddler in ways that didn’t involve _all_ the furniture being absolutely demolished by his lightsaber after the fact. Solace in the form of physical assurance and comforting was usually best whenever Kylo woke up screaming, with tears rolling down his cheeks and trembling. It was your way of letting him know he wasn’t alone even if his dreams made him feel that way.

He had scooted back over to his side of the bed, quietly fixing the sheets that had been pulled out from under the mattress and halfway up the bed. You swung your legs back up onto the bed, tucking yourself back in. He inched over to where you were without hesitation, pulling you close so your back was to his chest, warm and secure, legs intertwined with yours and his hands held your wrists in an iron grip near your face, so you couldn’t be taken away. It wasn’t like there was a terribly high likelihood of that happening at the moment, but you know he’d seen some things that made him want you closer and tighter to him than ever before... even if you thought you might suffocate.

A few more moments of silence, stillness, calm settled over the two of you. And then he whispered into your ear, in a quiet voice tight with pain.

“I’m sorry.”

His warm breath hit the back of your neck, giving you goosebumps, your heart ached. You planted a soft kiss on one of his hands that held yours, stifled a yawn and whispered your response.

“It’s okay, love. Sleep well.”

_Please._

To this he nodded gently, nose buried in your hair. His breathing and heart rate evened out soon enough. You glanced over at your alarm clock, which now read 4:14 am. Stars, you honestly weren’t even suprised at being awake to see such an ungodly hour anymore, judging by the way the last week had treated the both of you. This was the new normal, but it certainly didn’t make waking up for work every day any easier.

Your eyelids started drooping shut, breathing inaudible and slow, a heaviness washing over you. You felt Kylo’s strong arms around you and backed into him as best you could, taking in his warmth. And by 4:21 you followed him into sleep, using his heartbeat as a lullaby, with less than pleasant visions of sleep deprivation and an upcoming long day’s work beginning in T-minus 3 hours dancing in your head.


	2. Rude Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N wakes up to a face she'd rather not, and creates a most perplexing sort of day for all parties involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooo happy about the response this little fic of mine has gotten so far and I really hope you all continue to enjoy it. Just a head's up I am by no means an engineer, or a military expert. Health studies is more my thing so any and all technical talk is mainly just whatever fancy words come to mind, don't expect anything too complex/accurate!   
> That said, enjoy chapter 2!!

Kylo was getting ready for the day ahead, dressing in the usual all black everything, hair still striking envy into the hearts of literally everyone. Despite the continuous fits of tossing and turning just a few short hours ago he only had a few wayward pieces, but not to worry, he definitely had little combs in that helmet of his to fix those. 

 

The bed you shared with dread lord Ren was now monopolized completely by your sprawled out form. Under the mass of reclaimed blankets, you lie flat on your belly, dead to the world. It was now 7:52 in the morning, usually the two of you were more or less ready to head out around 8:00. And right now, you weren’t moving an inch. Kylo recognized some kind of concession had to be made after last night’s... _ interruptions _ . So, making sure to be particularly quiet, he manoeuvered around your shared quarters to retrieve whatever it was he required.

 

The room, as dark as dark can be, blinds completely shut, not a spot of light penetrating the space, inevitably led the almighty Kylo Ren to stub his toe on his stupid helmet pedestal. He choked back a stream of choice curse words, hunched over, hand twitching towards the hilt of his lightsaber at his hip. He exhaled deeply, jaw clenching and stood up straight, regaining his composure, well, physically. 

 

Just as he straightened to head back into the bedroom towards the wardrobe, there was a rather loud knock at the door. He couldn’t hold it back this time.

 

“God fucking dammit for the love of- UUURRAAAGHHH!!” he exclaimed angrily, but as quietly as an outrageously pissed off ball of stress and frustration like him possibly could.

 

Shoulders hunched and arms stiff at his sides, he motioned quickly with his index and middle finger for the door to slide open. In the doorway, thank the maker, stood quite possibly one of his  _ least  _ favourite people -- not like he really had many ‘favourite people’ in his life in the first place -- in the entire galaxy and probably even beyond that. General Armitage Hux, first class assclown and now #1 on Kylo Ren’s murder wishlist.

 

“Is there a  _ reason _ you’ve decided to grace me with your presence in my quarters,  _ General _ ?” Ren grumbled, his last word laced with acid. He glanced furtively back at the bed, detecting no movement, which came as a pretty big shock to him.

 

“I was expecting Y/N in the South wing board room twenty-two minutes ago to…” he peered just over Ren’s heaving shoulder to see you in your current position, very much not ready to discuss shield construction complications. He cleared his throat, lowered his voice and continued.

 

“To discuss her conversation with Lieutenant Reemar about his conflict with the shields in his sector.” He hissed, obviously sour that he had to make the trip to retrieve you himself, definitely not a routine excursion.

 

“I’m sure it can wait.” Kylo Ren replied, not caring in the least about his reasoning, moreso just concerned about getting the angry ginger out of his space.

 

“I realize you’ve been rather preoccupied as of late Ren, but surely you must be aware there are not a great deal of things on my ship that can ‘ _ just wait _ ’.” he spat.

 

A very ticked off Ren glared at the General’s despicable face, that smug grin, and huffed, storming off to retrieve the last of the items he required. Hux stepped into the room, striding over to your bedside. 

 

Before him there you laid, hair atrociously disheveled, mouth slightly agape,drool dampened the pillow you hugged close to you. More than a little repulsed he poked at your cheek, withdrawing quickly in the case that you lashed out. 

 

Nothing. He cleared his throat and reached out a hand, lightly grasping your shoulder and shook gently. 

 

A grunt. And not a very womanly one at that. 

 

He didn’t usually do wake-up calls.  _ Ever _ . However, he considered you to be somewhat of a...how could he put it? A slightly more valuable acquaintance.You being his most trusted combat advisor on board the Finalizer and Starkiller Base (R.I.P) for the past 2 years, the two of you had a lot of time to build a rapport, foster what most normal folk would call a ‘friendship’ of sorts. Well, as close to that as an individual as volatile as Hux could have. 

 

Although ‘friendship’ certainly wasn’t a word Hux could force himself to utter even if held at gunpoint, it was the truth. If need be you would discuss plans and matters over lunch or you would act as a liaison of sorts, a job which you had held previous to joining with First Order. You weren’t gal pals or anything but you trusted one another and had each other’s back in the workplace. And this was one of those times because you, Y/F/N Y/LN, had never been late a day in your life.

 

He returned back to the present moment, shaking his head, and tried a third and final time to shake you awake. He spoke quietly so as not to startle you but with enough ‘I mean business’ to get the urgency across.

 

“Y/N, get your arse out of bed this instant  or I swear on-” 

 

Before he could finish you groaned loudly, making him jump back, quickly collecting himself to appear as authoritative as possible when you noticed him. Which took several minutes of you rolling around and trying to hide under the covers. General Hux heard an extensive series of half-asleep comments about things that couldn’t begin to make sense, yet had an underlying tone of ‘I don’t wanna fucking do this leave me alone.’

You really liked the guy and his face wasn’t  _ that  _ scary to you, so the startled scream that escaped you when you blearily opened your eyes to see Hux hovering over you was pretty unwarranted. He just simply wasn’t the man you thought you’d wake up to, nor would you ever dream of it.

 

Before you could see his rather offended expression you glanced over at the alarm clock to your left, preparing yourself for heartbreak.

 

_ 8:06.  _

 

The clock might has well have read ‘fuck my life and this miserable existence’

 

A single tear slid down your cheek, no joke. None of this was even funny. Okay, maybe Hux’s face was, he appeared rather disgruntled.

 

“Nice of you to join us this fine morning, miss Y/N.” Hux greeted you with the utmost sarcasm, which was to be expected, given the fact you’d just woken up and the work day had already begun.

 

You sat up immediately and started rambling on apologetically, “General, I sincerely apologize this has never happened before I-ah, I didn’t think I’d have this hard of a time getting going today, I promise it won’t happen again. I-I realize this is not acceptable and um... you will have my full attention from right now onwards...But _ since when _ do you make wake-up calls?”

 

That last part  _ definitely  _ should not have been included but you couldn’t help yourself. The look on his face told you all you needed to know about how he felt about that last comment.

 

He inhaled deeply, looking up at the ceiling in an attempt not to lose his absolute shit at you when obviously all was not good on your end. Something had been going on these past few days but he couldn’t figure out just what. He glanced briefly down at, your dull eyes had a dozen shades of dark shadows underneath them, shoulders slumped like they carried a weight they could hardly bear.

 

“That is ah- not to worry, I’m sure this will not happen again. Now do what you must to prepare yourself for the day, I will meet you in the South wing board room in 20 minutes. Do  _ not _ be late.” 

 

With this he turned on his heel and strode out the door, brushing shoulders with your masked Knight of Ren. You didn’t need to see his actual face to visualize the expression he made in response to Hux. It was the expression he bore 90% of the time when he was within 20 feet of the man, disgust, indignation, topped off with a most pleasant sneer. The other 10% of the time Hux was irritating someone else just the same. Only they had the sense to mask their feelings to avoid imminent death.

 

He turned to face you, looking you up and down carefully.

 

“Are you alright?” As you made the bed, you sensed every bit of guilt in his voice, even through the muffled distortion of the modulator. You knew he wasn’t concerned about your rude awakening to the General, but your rather turbulent night’s rest with him. 

 

There was nothing he could do about it, you knew this. He rarely slept completely soundly but recently it was amplified. The nightmares, the kicking, the noises, all of it enhanced by something he only mentioned to you once last week because he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

 

You nodded in response to him, plastering a smile on your face, not too exaggerated though but just enough to hopefully assure him that you didn’t think you might vomit any minute now.

 

“Yup, I’m good, just got to grab some things, get changed and I’m good to go,” you grinned again, adding some extra pep and briefly peering up into his mask’s dark slit through which he was  _ definitely _ seeing clear through your bullshit. As you walked past him to the washroom you planted a kiss on the side of his god awful helmet and continued to wash up quickly, “Try to have a good day, love.”

 

You were under no illusion that he was convinced, as much as you loved to fancy yourself an excellent super sly liar, but you knew he had a ridiculous amount of other things to do today. Hopefully those would keep him preoccupied.

 

He didn’t leave right away but after a few moments you heard the door slide shut behind him. With this you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding in.  _ Phew.  _ It wasn’t like you were withholding being pregnant from him or anything, which you absolutely were not that, by the way. You are prudent about a great deal of things, and birth control is top of the list. 

 

Being exhausted in every sense of the word wasn’t actually a huge secret that must be kept, but you didn’t feel like you needed to add your minor personal problems to his list of concerns. He was an incredibly anxiety riddled man already who moped around and hovered enough already and plus you were an adult and more than capable of taking care of yourself.

 

Leaning on the countertop you wished you hadn’t looked at the mirror  because what looked back at you was the polar opposite of a hot mess. You looked like you’d been hidden in a dark room with nothing to eat but saltine crackers for 24 years, running on two hours of sleep per day collectively, mixed with a puppy that’d been left out in the rain so the only place to stay in for the night was a dumpster.

 

There was no amount of magic you could work to fix this monstrosity. Not that you usually put out more than 5 minutes of effort anyway in the mornings, working in a dimly lit military base didn’t do anyone’s face any favours in the first place.

 

So you did the necessities, slipped on the last clean uniform you had and with a pitiful sigh, headed out for the day.

 

Spoiler alert, you arrived at the board room on time. On the journey there -- a 10 minute walk which you made into a 5 minute run-- you had caught the glances of no less than 4 pairs of repulsed eyes, some others equal parts confused and concerned. But these were the least of your problems. A trash can which was definitely not directly in your path, but you were convinced that it was, tripped you rather rudely during your run. Alright, maybe the inanimate object didn’t go out of it’s way to send you tumbling and somersaulting forwards onto the unforgiving slippery black floor, once again killing your poor ol’ tailbone. 

 

You had stood up and glared daggers at the trash can. Chest heaving trying to regain your breath and failing miserably. You had noticed the way the plastic bag was situated around the rim of the trash can it looked remarkably like your tantrum toddler’s cute little ~~hoodie~~  cowl he always wore. The resemblance was un- _ can _ -ny. Hardee har har. You actually laughed out loud at your feeble attempt at humour, earning some questioning looks from passerby, to whom a mental middle-finger was provided

 

Trash can misadventures aside you managed to get to the room one minute before ‘too late you’re fired’ to meet Hux. Cheerful and bright as ever, he turned to acknowledged you as you slid past the doorway at full speed and then regained your footing to enter, hands patting down your top, straightening to look less like you’d just escaped a windstorm.

 

“Ah, you’ve made it. Are um-are you quite alright?” The General asked you, a valid question, most people would be perplexed when another individual such as the likes of you stumbles into a room tremendously out of breath and their wits. You took a moment to respond before just absolutely letting loose, your thoughts these days were atrociously scrambled and out of sorts which often led to conversational responses such as the following:

 

“Yes absolutely, General, I am at your disposal as of right now. Well, I mean I technically always am, whenever I am needed, Sir, except apparently an hour ago but the past is the past right? And you know I swear I have a good exc-”

 

Before you could finish he cut you off with a loud, seriously irritated, clearing of the throat. Followed by a very succinct request for specific and pertinent information

 

“That is more than enough Y/N, what I need from you right now is to tell me what it is that’s causing delays in Lieutenant Reemar’s shield operation.”

 

“Ah yes, the shields. Well you see Lieutenant Reemar tells me the shields in most spots have been tested and proven to be strong enough to withstand the strongest simulated blasts of Resistance ships, however there are some weaker points that, when struck, falter and make the ship vulnerable to damage. We discussed this with his lead engineers in the technological defenses department and they seem to believe it’s just minor fixes that need to be made. Apparently a series of what should have been newly re-wired calcinators were not properly treated which is having a domino effect on the system.  Relatively easy repairs, just as long as they don’t let that new blond one with the glasses touch anything.” 

 

You laughed at that last part and you caught only the slightest of smirks from the General, which quickly faded.

 

“Good. It sounds as though they are ready to proceed and have it under control. Has he mentioned anything about the KX9 laser cannons? I was under the impression there were complications when tests were run yesterday morning.”

 

At this you hesitated, alright more like completely blanked out.

 

‘ _ KX9, KX9, ah shit, what was it he said, something important, yes. Ummm...they needed more parts manufactured right? No dammit those were for the service droids! KX9…what was it he said he needed? I  _ never  _ forget things like this… it’s so simple! Come on, come on...’ _

 

Evidently you were having some kind of face journey that indicated your confusion. You were pulled out of your panicked thoughts at the sound of snapping fingers. 

 

“Are you still with me Lieutenant?” he asked, not necessarily annoyed, there was a hint of just noticeable concern in his voice. Your gaze shot up to meet his icy blue eyes, which were searching your face like a freckle would give him all the answers. He was scowling as though he were cross, but his face was usually frozen like that anyway so you usually took it with a grain of salt. You stumbled over your words.

 

“I-uh, well you see sir, he didn’t um- well he needed...something. There was an-an item, a code...I believe. Could have also been a consultation with someone, no definitely a code...I-I think.” you cringed at your own words, sounding like an absolute blathering idiot.

 

“I’m afraid your level of certainty on this isn’t giving me the utmost confidence at this moment, Lieutenant.” He replied distantly like he was half lost in thought as well as he stared you down

 

‘ _ Oh jeez tell me about it.’  _ you thought to yourself. This past week was really causing some damage. Late and forgetful were not how, before now, you would have described yourself or imagined anyone else describing you, but times, they were a changin’.

 

“Well, not to worry General, may I be excused momentarily to retrieve this information from Lieutenant Reemar, sir? I will return shortly to continue our discussion as planned the squadrons due for dispatch next week before tomorrow’s conference.”

 

Admittedly his analytical stare was making you incredibly anxious and you needed a way out as soon as possible. He nodded curtly and his gaze followed the back of your head as you tried not to break into a sprint out of the room.

 

You’d returned as promised shortly after confirming with an also confused Lieutenant Reemar, that it was in fact  _ codes  _ that he required to bypass checkpoints in the system to install the new features into the laser cannons. You delivered this information to Hux and discussed his plans for the squadron being dispatched on a mission next week so you were on the same page before tomorrow’s meeting. 

 

After this you grabbed some of what the servers insist is ‘real food’ filled with all the ‘essential nutrients’ and probably more chemicals than you could dream of, and sat down inside a booth in the dining hall. You know it’s bad when the water looks the most appetizing out of your entire plate, but who cares. You were starving. Or so you thought. 

The feeling was like a weird cross between ‘get in my belly there’s a gaping hole in there’ and ‘if a crumb of anything touches the inner membrane of my stomach I will projectile vomit rivers of bile all over the surface of this entire table’. You nibbled at the partially stale bread role and some cubed vegetables but the noodles in the chunky, lukewarm soup you were served seem to form three words ‘ _ forget about it’.  _ So you left the table feeling just the same as you had sat down feeling.

 

Luckily the rest of your day didn’t require much conversation, running around or recalling basic facts. It was mostly just desk work, sending out and replying tomessages and relaying information to parties who needed it. Paperwork, basically, signatures, etcetera. Typically boring work that would have you taking walk breaks every seven minutes, or banging your head against the nearest wall, was much appreciated today.

 

Around 6pm you were done everything that was assigned to you so you meandered back to your quarters. You attemped not once, not twice but  _ thrice  _ to swipe your key card properly before the door slid open and you entered your dark and spooky humble abode. You’d tried putting some cute string lights in the room some time ago but they hadn’t survived longer than 3 hours thanks to Cranky McCrankerson. Kylo Ren didn’t like that name either for obvious reasons. 

 

The aforementioned ~~string lights~~  Jedi Killer wouldn’t return for another hour and a bit or so, which pummeled your hopes of sneaking in a quality nap. Upon arriving home he either went on a half hour long tangent or went on slamming objects against other hard objects bender if he hadn’t already taken it out on a nearby panel. It should go without saying he was not winning any awards for quiet agility and sneaking around skills. Except this morning, because you didn’t hear a sound until Hux so rudely interrupted your peace. He must have felt  _ extra  _ shitty if he gave you that extra time and worked so hard to be quiet.

 

Deciding to curl up on the couch with one of Kylo’s many dusty old books you chose something that looked pretty damn worn. The infinite amount of dog-eared pages indicated it was definitely a favourite of his at some point in the past when he had the time and patience to do things like read.

 

It was an a story about adventure and finding love, about two young adolescents who least expected anything special to happen, trying to escape from the dull confines of their respective towns, searching for some greater purpose elsewhere in the galaxy.

 

It followed them through 7 years of their life during which they stumbled across each other and grew close. It was quite adorable actually. And you were a little bit of a romantic so you loved reading this kind of thing. Evidently so did Kylo. Or, used to. 

 

You felt a pang of sadness as you continued reading. As much of a page-turner as it was you found it harder and harder to concentrate. Just as you found yourself drifting off, the door slid open and you sat up quickly to see Kylo enter. You weren’t usually too sappy of a person but for some reason you missed him a hell of a lot more today, your eyes were brimming with tears. 

 

This didn’t fly under Kylo’s radar, he B-lined over to the couch immediately taking a seat next to you, masked helmet dropping to the floor with a thud which made you flinch. 

 

“Y/N, look at me, what’s wrong, why are you crying? Who did this?” he inquired, already assuming there was someone to blame when in reality even you couldn’t think up a reasonable answer to his question.

 

You shuddered and buried your face in his neck, arms squeezing him tight around the waist. He reciprocated the action and you felt his hand on the back of your head, running gloved fingers through your hair. Which to you was strange because usually the tables were turned, he was the one that needed calming down and he  _ loved  _ the feeling of your fingers combing through his hair. 

 

You inhaled shakily, pausing and then stuttering out an ‘ _ I don’t know’ _

 

“It wasn’t Hux was it?” he growled accusingly, “That ass hat’s just begging for a fight.”

 

You chuckled at this through the tears and your nose which was starting to get blocked up. ‘Ass hat was a favourite word of yours and evidently it had caught on with Kylo and at that moment nothing was more hilarious than the highly esteemed Commander Ren of the First Order using the word ‘ass hat’. Now you were howling and leaning into him even more, shaking with laughter. 

 

Kylo Ren had reached the height of perplexity. This unexplained shift of moods from you that appeared to have no immediately obvious root cause was alarming to him. He placed his hands on either side of your face and tipped your head up to take a good look at you. 

 

“I don’t understand Y/N, what’s so funny? And how come you were just so upset? Explain.”

 

You looked into his eyes. A warm, calming brown with a hazel tint to them, you could stare for ages getting lost in them. And even though they were flitting back and forth with worry, at a loss for explanation they brought you back to a relaxed state. Exhaling heavily you replied.

 

“Oh, no reason probably, long day, don’t worry Hux didn’t say anything, he was pretty mild and tolerable today. I’m fine.” You raised a hand to cup his face then tried to stroke away all his worry lines before standing up to grab tissues. This man wasn’t gonna go along with you’re ‘I’m fine, don’t worry’ act for very much longer. But you were persistent and could deal without whining about being tired when literally everyone is and  there are clearly bigger fish to fry. 

 

You heard him get up from the couch and take steps towards you but before he could get very far the intercom at the door turned on and delivered a message that Kylo would be needed for the next couple hours to oversee operations somewhere on base, which meant you’d be alone again...The perfect distraction, but at the same time a part of you did miss him. Though not necessarily to the extent that your waterworks episode indicated, it was like he’d come back from  a year at war or something ridiculous like that. 

 

You turned and saw him scoop up his helmet from the floor and storm out the doorway, but before exiting completely he leaned back into the doorway and addressed you.

 

“Have you eaten dinner?” 

 

“No, I haven’t” you replied, suddenly getting flashbacks to the forget about it noodles and stale bread.

 

“Make sure you do. Eat.” he looked you sternly in the eye, you nodded energetically.

 

With that, he continued out the door and strode down the hallway, door sliding closed. You stood in the middle of the room, figuring you might as well just request a delivery of food, not really in the mood to walk halfway across base again for cruddy cafetria sludge, and risk running into your trash can nemesis.

 

The steaming hot food came soon enough and now you were most certainly famished. Within a few minutes you sent the dishes back with the delivery droid. Looking around there wasn’t all that much to do so you plopped down on the couch, picked up the book and read for several more hours, Kylo had yet to return. At 10:30 the deceivingly lengthy read was about 80% finished, when you fell asleep in your cozy little nook of the sofa, where you got a little bit of much needed shuteye. Which in about 3 more hours, you would be eternally grateful for.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. The Last Straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your hopes of a calm, peaceful night are dashed as you get swept away into a dream that gets too real, too fast. Which leads to a considerably shitty day that you just can't seem to make it through. Our favourite space manchildren are somewhat kind??? Considerate?? Caring??? What is this?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just incase anyone wanted to get some vibes, as I wrote the first little bit of Kylo finding you on the couch, I was listening to I Dare You by the xx on repeat. I recommend.
> 
> This chapter is quite a bit longer, could have split it up but I just couldn't stop myself. I really hope you all enjoy! Last chapter coming soon.

Before entering his quarters, Kylo inhaled deeply, an attempt to release some of the tension that had built up in him during his conversation with Supreme Leader. He raised a hand to the key pad which for him might as well have been a motion sensor, he can’t remember having ever actually pressed the buttons on the device. He entered and walked over to where you’d buried yourself under about three blankets in the corner of the sofa across the room.

 

Whatever tension remained in his shoulders evaporated instantly when he saw you. Even while soundly asleep you radiated waves of calm and serenity, without which his natural turbulent rage and chaos would be boundless, entirely uncontrollable. A small contented sigh escaped him in the form of a nearly inaudible hiss through the helmet. 

 

Leaning down he carefully displaced the blankets so as to extract you from their warm embrace to be replaced by his own as he scooped you into his arms with ease. Unless it involved you, 95% of what Kylo Ren did absolutely could  _ not _ be described as ‘soft’. The man was built like a brick house, but managed to do everything with a particular grace that was somehow also packed with raw power. 

 

Hands placed under your knees and cradling your back he turned towards the bedroom. Slowly, though, you were notorious to discard items of clothing around the bed haphazardly which in a low-lit room in the night, promised to lead to some accidents. Sometimes he thought that you actually did it on purpose just to irk him.

 

Often you could be a light sleeper so the whole process had to be done with the utmost caution. This was  _ not  _ the first time this had happened, a handful of times before now Kylo had had to perform this extraction. Once you really got into something like a good book, nothing could stop you except complete exhaustion. He never really fully understood your fascination with his book collection, most of them were worn down and juvenile. He’d considered purging his room of them, but you’d taken a liking to them so getting rid of them was no longer an option. 

 

After laying you down on your side of the bed he gently lifted your bottom half up to get the covers out from under you. No signs of waking to be seen or heard, Kylo was quite taken aback by how much movement had occurred without waking you up, but was also quite thankful for the unusual lack of response. 

 

He ensured that no part of you was poking out from under the covers to be exposed to the chill in the room and did his undressing and washing up quietly in the washroom before returning. He slipped under the sheets to join you, shifting over to get as close as possible. Kylo extended an arm to rest across your belly, hand finding your waist, face buried in your neck, breathing you in.

The day had done a number on him so any lingering thoughts he had didn’t stick around for long. His breathing evened out and eyes slipped shut closed sooner than he could say ‘General Hux is a piece of shit I hope his stupid cat wanders into the line of fire’. 

 

There was calm, peace and quiet. Silence, soft breaths, not the slightest of movements. One might say both the dread lord prince and his lovely lady were having the best sleep in ages. 

 

WRONG. 

 

These restful moments for lasted approximately an hour before disaster ensued, and this time, Kylo Ren couldn’t keep it in his own damn head. No, the suffering was yours to share with him  _ entirely _ tonight.  

 

You were trapped. Feet stuck in place, you were frozen with fear. 

 

This mystery location you found yourself in on the late Starkiller Base appeared endless and seemed to swallow little ol’ you up in it’s expaniveness. In your experience, usually dreams featured places you’d seen or been in before. You’d covered most of Starkiller Base during your time there and bridges like this terrified the shit out of you so obviously you’d perhaps subconsciously avoided it. However, it had a familiarity you couldn’t quite place, like you’d felt the place before...was that possible? To feel a place?

 

Oh, wait… yes, it was. You knew exactly where you were.

 

Through the small gaps in the bridge on which you stood, you saw what appeared to be a bottomless chasm. Nothing to catch you if you fell. Around you, black walls, some opened and retracted with hisses, Stormtroopers marched on platforms in the periphery. In front of you, although several feet down the bridge was someone a billion times more familiar than your surroundings. You wouldn’t necessarily describe him as having a sunny disposition about him in that moment. Well, admittedly he never did, you were acutely aware he was not capable of such a thing.

 

A dim red light shone on him, coming up from the rows of lights placed alongside either edge of the bridge. Red is not a colour typically associated with the cold, but the red that seemed to also pass right through him, sent chills down your spine, and not the good kind. He appeared to be translucent but solid, and looking down at your hand, you were too. 

 

‘Okay so this is a dream, good, I’m like a ghost, very cool.’ But realizing this situation probably wasn’t real didn’t make anything that followed any less terrifying.

 

You had involuntarily begun to walk towards him at a slow pace. It was like you were inside a body that had a mind of its own, prescribed movements you had no control over. Words fell out of your mouth you had never uttered, that didn’t make sense to you. It was as though you’d dropped into this body in the middle of a  _ very  _ emotionally charged conversation. But you just let it happen, too in awe to fight it.

 

“Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants he’ll crush you.. .” You insisted as you approached him, gaze holding his steadily, unwavering. It felt as though you were trying to reach into him, to find something that would change things. That would fix him.

 

At this he stepped back ever so slightly, face half hidden in the shadows, shaken but trying hard to stand strong.

 

“You know it’s true.” you continued, sensing a sliver of a breakthrough, or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

 

Your thoughts hadn’t betrayed you, at these words his eyes brimmed with tears, his voice nearly caught in his throat.

 

“It’s too late.” More like he was trying to convince himself, denying the possibility that he could turn back now, it couldn’t be an option, but a voice buried deep inside him wanted it to be so desperately.

 

Almost as soon as the words left his mouth this host body of yours took another step forward, determined.

 

“No it’s not. Leave here with me, come home. We miss you.”

 

It was at this point that inner you began to piece together the happy memory you’d so graciously been pulled into. You’d never experienced it in its entirety, only the emotions that came with it, glimpses of the face that you bore had slipped into your mind on several occasions recently. But never were the words spoken or the sights seen as clear as you heard and saw them now. For the briefest of moments you felt strangely like yourself,  but this sensation disappeared as soon as it came.

 

It was also at this moment that inner Kylo saw something too. To him, the face of his father flickered to yours like a hologram, your body replaced his father’s and just as quickly his father’s returned. Confusion overtook his face, this had never happened before. Not once. 

 

After a few moments of silence his father’s form was retained and appeared almost solid. You regained the feeling of being encased and frozen with a body that moved as it pleased.

 

Once again brought back into the memory, Kylo searched ~~your~~  his father’s face, clenched  jaw shifting slightly, anxious. You’d never heard such pained words as the ones that he spoke, lips quivering.

 

“I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain.” He looked down briefly, steeling himself, before glancing up, his eyes were a call for help.  “ I know what I have to do, I just don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” A pause.  “Will you help me?”

 

Without hesitation you stepped towards him, stating without a doubt that you would help him. Whatever he needed, you were willing to provide, to bring him home.

 

Your form flickered momentarily, you were you for less than a second. Kylo shook his head. He was seeing things, you weren’t there, you couldn’t be.

 

He looked once more into the face of his father, less shaky, more resolve now. The helmet held at his side clanged to the floor as he reached to his belt, taking the hilt of his saber in his gloved hand. He studied it as it was held in front of him, between the two of you.

 

Your hand reached out to grasp the hilt as you glanced up at him, the day light that had been shining though the opening above and  behind you, desperately trying to shed light in this dark pit you found yourself in, disappeared completely. His face was illuminated only by the red lights of the bridge, a shadow cast over the rest of him.

 

You knew what was coming. And you felt it stronger than ever. The pain, the hurt, the realization, the loss, a severed tie. Han Solo’s emotions blended with yours and you wanted to scream, shout out for Kylo to stop. Before you even attempted any of that, the fiery blade ignited and pierced through your chest as he drove it through you.

 

You stared into Kylo’s face, so close now, his teeth clenched in a grimace, he let out ragged breaths. But it wasn’t relief in his eyes. It was panic. Complete and utter terror. Panic and terror weren’t feelings you’d caught from this nightmare in the past, these were new and unexpected. 

 

What Kylo saw when the blade pierced the body in front of him wasn’t his father’s petrified face. In fact it wasn’t his father at all. Everything else faded into nothingness so all that remained was you. Just you.

 

The eyes that gazed up into his were shining with tears, mouth forming an ‘o’ in shock, you were wearing the same outfit you had been when he found you on the couch tonight. The person in front of him was entirely you, it was the pads of your fingers that weakly caressed his cheek, touch light as a feather. 

 

You let out a shuddering breath as his lightsaber retracted from your torso as quickly as it had penetrated it. You crumpled at his feet before he could catch you. Kylo dropped to his knees taking your head in his lap, hands rushing to your wound, blood oozed out of the smoking hole in your abdomen. 

 

His hands found their way up to cradle your face, thumb stroking your cheek, eyes searching your pale face, muttering in shocked disbelief, voice escalating in panic.

 

“No no no no no…. Y/N!!!! Y/N stay with me, I- you can’t leave, this-this isn’t happening, It’s okay you’ll be okay!! Fuck!!”

 

You gazed up at him with despair as the last of your light faded from your eyes. 

 

‘It’s okay, I, I understand, Kylo…” at this he held you even tighter, eyes locked on yours, breaths quickening, heart pounding. This wasn’t happening.

 

“I love you.” you choked out weakly. Muscles relaxing, breathing inaudible, eyes glassing over, you faded away. Leaving behind a broken Knight, kneeling in the middle of a bridge, you’d disappeared, his arms frozen where they were when they’d held you, the weight in his lap gone.

 

You were floating above the scene now, desperately trying to claw your way back to down below, screaming, thrashing, doing everything in your power to descend as you heard a bellow of agony the scene faded away and you dropped back into yourself. And it wasn’t like in the movies when you see a woman gently phasing back into her sleeping form. More like you’d been shoved from behind unexpectedly onto the hard floor that was your body, Kylo crying out your name startling you awake.

 

Just as you jolted upright so did Kylo, almost perfectly in sync. Both sweaty, trembling, panting, and gasping for air. Usually this is what the aftermath of a roll in the hay with Kylo would look like, minus the absolute terror and sickening feeling in your gut. 

 

Before you could even think anything Kylo’s strong arms pulled you into his broad chest, cheek pressed up against his chest you felt his heart pounding like a drum. Your arms had wrapped around his torso, holding him back just as fiercely, it was as though if either of you let go in that moment the other would be whisked away through the window, lost forever.

 

His hands ran through your hair, pulling you back so he could see your face and your hands wandered up to his, regaining your breath you managed to choke out the question on everyone’s minds.

 

“What was  _ that _ ?” You’d figured out the gist of it during the dream, it was when Kylo killed his father. This was a recurring dream that you’d felt in him before, but this time you’d had the privilege of getting a front row seat. And  _ that  _ is what you were worried about.

 

He stared into your eyes like he was trying to memorize all the details, still caught up in the fact that not two minutes ago he’d felt you die in his arms. His mouth opened and closed, trying to muster up an explanation. But before he could formulate the words your hand left his cheek to clasp your mouth, eyes filled with dread.

By the time he could ask what had happened you had already sped past the threshold of the bathroom door, slamming it shut behind you. Soon after that some rather unpleasant noises emerged from within, more specifically from within the toilet bowl that some poor sod of a caretaker had probably recently made shiny and clean.

 

The door was simply shut behind you, not locked, but nevertheless, Mother Hen Ren insisted on nearly tearing it clean off its hinges. He stepped inside and crouched beside you, sweeping your hair back into a loose ponytail -- Yes, Kylo Ren could do ponytails --away from your face and the toilet seat. He placed his hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles as the retching continued. He muttered a series of hushed curse words to himself before making an attempt to comfort you as best he could, as you had dialed it back to dry heaving. Somewhere along the line he heard a half-hearted explanation. ‘Bad dinner’, reverberate from within the toilet bowl.

 

“You’re okay Y/N, I’m here, you’re okay.” The nightmares never seemed to elicit a reaction like this from either you or him before so he couldn’t understand why your response would be so violent. Then again this one was particularly intense and personal. He himself was shaken to the core but you...this had really gotten to you. And was confident that ‘bad dinner’ would have waited this long to come back up.

 

Your head emerged from the toilet bowl after a solid 8 minutes of purging the entirety of dinner and then some from your insides. Face pale, gaunt and drained, you let yourself fall back into Kylo. Through heavy-lidded eyes, a cup of water appeared in front of you, held by a hand that made it look tiny like a sippy cup for children. The thought of forcing anything down your throat now made your stomach roll so before you could raise a hand to shove it away a voice whispered in your mind.

 

_ “Rinse.” _

 

Nodding weakly, you lifted a shaky hand to take the cup, neglecting to fully realize his voice was in your head, which after your vigorous training to subdue your connection to the Force, it should very much not be.  As soon as you’d grasped the cup,  a hand covered yours to steady you. The cup tipped slowly to let the water run into your mouth, with a couple swishes you spit out a mouthful of cool water into the bowl, feeling only about 5% less gross, but it was something. Kylo removed the cup from your hand and Force-slam dunked it into the trash can.

 

“All done?” You nodded in response. “Let’s get you back to bed then, ready?” Humming a ‘yes’, he lifted you up slowly into his arms so your head rested against the cool fabric of his t-shirt.

 

“I can walk ya know, I’m not a child, we’ve been through this.” Was what you attempted to say, but in reality it came out slurred in a barely audible mumble.

 

“I know you can.” Kylo responded, voice vibrated through his chest and you hummed contently at the feeling. The entire nightmare ordeal was traumatic to say the least but you were just too goddamn tired for it to fully register in your foggy mind and get all upset right now.

 

You felt the soft cushioning of the covers and pillows beneath you as Kylo placed you on the bed. He pulled a warm fleece blanket over you and planted a kiss on your forehead, which brought a tired grin to your face. Within seconds you were asleep and the mattress sunk beside you as Kylo laid back down with a sigh, a very anxious one. Not nearly as capable of returning to sleep as quickly as you, he stared up at the ceiling, hands resting on his abdomen. 

 

He had felt that his voice had gotten into your head just moments ago, and for the first time you had completely entered his dream, this was huge cause for concern. The two of you had trained extensively for months on building walls in your mind, inpenetrable, to prevent the discovery of your abilities. If anyone found out abou-If  _ Snoke  _ found out about your Force sensitivity...Kylo couldn’t fathom the outcome. But it wasn’t promising.

 

Kylo’s most recent conversation with the ‘Used Q-tip’ as you had so endearingly called the Supreme Leader on countless occasions in private, had not gone well. The Supreme Leader was getting suspicious, he had caught a whiff of a new presence on board in the last week. When he asked if Kylo had felt it, Kylo denied it instantly, perhaps too instantly. 

 

Now Snoke was  _ much _ more suspicious and mistrusting in his apprentice, more than ever. It was only a matter of time before...he didn’t want to think about it. This needed to be fixed. Now. Your walls were faltering and had been before tonight, he’d felt it in barely noticeable blips, but he’d been too preoccupied to pay full attention to it as of late. Looking over to you he watched your chest rise and fall. This most certainly was not because of a ‘bad dinner’. 

 

He reached a hand over to your temple but before his fingers made contact he retracted. You’d made an agreement that he would  _ never,  _ under no circumstances, waltz into your mind like that when you were vulnerable. Especially now that you were trying so hard to keep your defenses up to fly under Snoke’s radar. But he soon realized he didn’t need to make direct contact to feel what was going on inside your head, it came to him.

 

Waves of exhaustion, complete and utter depletion, weariness slipped out from you and flowed into him. He saw flashes of your past few days at work, mostly unfocused, cloudy, reflecting how you’d probably seen things day after day.

 

You were burnt out, and he’d been too caught up in his own troubles to see it. The effect of his nightmares had reached out and extended to you too. He thought back to the late nights you’d both suffered, spurred on by his mind regurgitating an endless replay of the moment that tore him apart, right down the middle. Followed by early mornings, long days and late night interruptions again and again. 

 

He exhaled shakily, hand running through his hair, brows knit together, as he looked you up and down, the weight of what he was doing to you hitting him all at once. This was his fault.

 

But there was nothing he could do now, it was 3 in the morning and you were sound asleep. He resolved to discuss this with you in the morning, to inform you of Snoke’s suspicions, to explain everything and to put you back together again. He closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep, taking advantage of your leaking emotions. Calm, serentiny, restfulness. In the morning, he would fix things. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Only, you weren’t there in the morning. He knew even before his eyes snapped open to see a pile of blankets with no Y/N under them. Kylo practically leaped out of bed, throwing the blankets onto the floor just to make sure, he stormed into the washroom yelling your name. No nook and no cranny of his quarters contained you and it was only 7:45. You  _ never  _ woke up first, much less left without warning.

 

He ran his hands through his hair, breathing heavy, head on a swivel making sure you weren’t somewhere in the periphery laughing at the sight. You were hiding something, and now that he knew what that something was, he was pretty sure you knew that he’d figured it out. But ever as stubborn and sometimes more stubborn than he was, he should have known you’d never walk up to him and say to his face that you were in pain. So you’d escaped to avoid confrontation.

 

He angrily snatched his data pad from the bedside table and sent you a message, obviously in all capitals:

 

“ _ WHERE ARE YOU.” _

 

After a few moments you responded, each one of those moments brought his simmering rage to  a furious boil.

 

“ _ Ummm, work? Where did you think?”  _

 

“ _ YOU LEFT EARLY AND DIDN’T TELL ME.” _

 

_ “True facts. Thanks for pointing those out, Commander Obvious.” _

 

_ “NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES.” _

 

_ “Jeez sorry, love. But unless you want everyone to see you running in late to work in your pajamas you’d better stop yelling at me through a tablet and get yourself ready for the day ;)” _

 

If not for the bed that was there to catch its fall, the data pad would have been sent flying to the ground with a crash. Kylo was fuming but you weren’t wrong, he had to get out the door.

 

As soon as he exited the room he ran into General Hux, literally. And in this moment he understood much more clearly why you had screamed that morning Hux had paid you both an unexpected visit. The red-headed asshat was  _ nobody’s _ favourite face to see first in the morning. He wasn’t as outwardly spooked as you had been though, Kylo Ren wasn’t known to yelp in surprise, but this was a close call.

 

“Ahem, General.” He acknowledged with a nod, trying to neglect the awkward first greeting.

 

The General shook his head, slightly rattled but more than slightly irritated. Hux cut to the chase, false pleasantries aside.

 

“What is going on with Y/N?” At this, Kylo glared at Hux, it was none of his business. Why was Hux looking into you? More importantly, why did he come to him about it?

 

“Y/N is none of your concern, General, don’t you have other matters to tend to that don’t involve poking your repulsive nose into things that don’t involve you?” he hissed defensively through his helmet, hoping the mask would cover up his obvious anxiety about you. Taking a step forward to stand over the General in an attempt to make him uncomfortable enough to back off. Hux didn’t budge.

 

“I did not come here to create conflict, Ren, I am here because I know if you could look over her every minute of the day if you would. But you can’t, so I do. And she has not been faring well.”

 

Kylo huffed, clenching his fists at his sides and made a noise something like a dog growling about to tear the head off on a toy that was making too much noise.

 

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?!” He roared. Kylo liked to fancy himself a composed and collected man, but that wasn’t the reality. This outburst  _ did  _ made Hux flinch. He tried to get a word in before being potentally decapitated.

 

“She told me about the...visions. She’s seen frightful things that have made nights more difficult than I imagine they already are with you.” Kylo advanced at this, he was crossing a line, so he took a half step back. “She’s not been ‘on top of her game’ as she puts it. I agree and I need her to be, so I am requesting that you do whatever is necessary to remedy this immediately.” Hux glared directly into the black slit where Ren’s eyes were and nodded curtly. “I will see you in the boardroom at 10.”

 

Hux made his exit, and he couldn’t have chosen a better moment because right beside where he’d stood was a rather newly installed fuse box that became Kylo Ren’s next kill.

 

After the rage disippated that had clouded his vision and that sent many an employee running in the opposite direction, he remembered he had somewhere to be. He managed to busy himself for the next few hours, knowing if he became distracted by Hux’s words he’d be just as much of a mess as you.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Okay so maybe you had snuck out before he woke up, it was a struggle to escape the death grip but you had a sense he was onto you. The feeling was hard to describe, but simply put: you knew when he’d been in your head, or at least received some kind of signal from you. Even if he hadn’t explicitly been in your head overnight, he left a trace behind that indicated he’d felt what you had. Which would mean your bullshit dismissal of your vomit fest ‘bad dinner’ hadn’t covered up the truth. 

 

Already asleep by the time Kylo had truly felt what you had been feeling you hadn’t seen the look on his face when he realized what the nightmares were doing to you, but you didn’t want to deal with the aftermath first thing in the morning. By 7 you were at your desk flicking through messages, updates and reminders. Organizing mounds paperwork alphabetically, to at least make it look like you had your shit together.

 

The first few hours of the morning were spent like this, including overseeing of some preparations for the mission tomorrow. There was a meeting in two hours that you were required to attend, even though you yourself wouldn’t be accompanying the squadron. However, having been a part of the strategizing process the commanding officers including General Hux and Phasma deemed it necessary for you to be present.

 

Now just because the tasks you were required to take care of that morning sounded simple enough, it definitely does not mean you had the easiest time completing them. More than once the wrong documents had been delivered to the incorrect person and you had to return shamefully to collected.  What made it worse, was all of this had happened before 8.

 

Another handful of times, more inanimate objects today seemed determined to impede your travels. This time though, it wasn’t because you were distracted while sprinting to meet the red head in charge on time to avoid execution. Every so often your perception of depth and space betrayed you, leading to a series of incidents involving tripping on a step that wasn’t there and sending files flying everywhere, or people would materialize out of nowhere and some coffee  _ may _ have been spilled...

 

As a consistently diligent worker this behaviour would have had you rattled and irritated if it were someone else continuously screwing up under your watch. But you weren’t often under direct supervision so you weren’t as concerned about getting caught as long as you picked up after yourself and made sure the mistake wasn’t big enough.

 

But even if you didn’t necessarily have a  _ direct  _ supervisor, Hux was watching your every move. And you didn’t know this, but you should have known your screw-ups would come to someone’s attention eventually.

 

You had leaned over to grab a file from your desk and just as you rose and turned, you bumped into a rather displeased General. You  _ did  _ yelp. 

 

“AAHHH!!” He visibly did not like this reaction. ‘Well maybe don’t stand so fucking close to someone who’s not looking then’ you thought, you could be quite outspoken, but it was best to keep this thought to yourself.

 

He cleared his throat and glared at you. ‘Uh oh, General Hugs did  _ not  _ wake up on the right side of the bed this morning.’ Unfortunately this wasn’t something you kept to yourself.

 

At this his face became almost the same shade as Kylo’s lightsaber. Before you could apologize, the irate General addressed you.

 

“You will explain what has been going on with you, why you have been such a collosal disaster as of late and who is to blame. Don’t you dare lie to me.”

 

The General was an individual who regularly had a stick planted firmly up his but and who was consistently so uptight it was comical. This however didn’t mean he wasn’t capable of scaring the hell out of you. But you still hesitated and then deliberately lied through your teeth.

 

“Bad dinner. Yeah the food’s been terrible lately haven’t you noticed? Been quite ill thes-”

 

“You’re lying.” The General cut you off with a sneer. “You have 10 seconds to give me an honest answer before I-”

 

“Okay okay fine I’ll tell you!” You scrambled desperately to piece together a statement to explain. “Kyl-Commander Ren, has been experiencing some...disruptions of rest, at inconvenient hours of the night for over a week now and it’s been keeping me up. I know I’ve not been at the top of my game lately ” You took a deep breath and then lowered your voice. “And being able to see and hear all of it doesn’t help.”

 

Your little Force sensitivity secret was one kept between Hux, Kylo and yourself. Hux only knew because he was no slouch and was very perceptive. Once Kylo found out that Hux knew, he may have made some promises that insinuated Hux wouldn’t be around much longer if he leaked this information.

 

Hux was much calmer now, having got what he wanted. He searched your eyes for any traces of you withholding anything else but there were none to be found.

 

“And have you spoken with him about this, Y/N?” He also spoke at a lowered voice, there was no reason for this to become common knowledge to the entire room. Your hesitation and sudden fascination with your coffee-stained shoes provided him with an answer.

 

“You haven’t. He doesn’t know.” He stated. You made an expression that said ‘Welll, no, not exactly, but...’

 

“I’m pretty sure he does now, last night was ah, more in-depth than before...and I kinda knew he’d want to talk so...that’s why I was here so early today.”

 

“Hm. That explains it then.” He nodded and looked off in the distance above your head.

 

“Explains what?!” You asked defensively, although you really shouldn’t be, it was no secret you’d been particularly clumsy today.

 

“It explains why I received all of Captain Cannady’s updated health records twenty minutes ago and why you have coffee stains all over your shoes.” You opened your mouth to argue this but quickly realized there was nothing to argue, your mouth closed as your shoulders slumped in defeat. The General continued.

 

“I recognize you’re slated to attend the meeting in two hours. And I realize you are normally opposed to taking suggestions, especially ones meant to benefit you, but I recommend that you take the day, Lieutenant.” He stated sternly. This too would not be an order that you would heed. 

 

“I’m afraid I will have to decline your recommendation, General. I believe it is important to attend this meeting and I have not been known to miss one before. I will be there, I can do it.”

 

You spoke assuredly but you had never seen a pair of eyes look so unconvinced. You could tell the General was about to attempt to fight you on this but gave up. Neither you or Ren could be easily swayed when you had your mind set on something. Nevertheless, he sighed in exasperation.

 

“Very well then, I expect to see you there Lieutenant. Try not to cause an accident.”

 

“Will do, General, or will not do...Whatever, I’ll see you then.” He was already halfway out the room by the time you finished. You shrugged and sat back down at your desk and found some more mindless work to do to pass the time.

 

Those next two hours seemed to last two weeks. But just as you were starting to nod off at your desk your data pad buzzed with a reminder that the meeting was happening in 5 minutes. You jumped up from your seat with a gasp and gathered your belongings, speed-walking to the boardroom, minimizing your coffee spilling accidents to only one incident.

 

The only seat that remained empty was to the right of General Hux at the very end of the first row of seats facing towards the front of the room. The mission that was to be discussed involved one Phasma’s squadrons and she was to command the operation, so she alone led the meeting.

 

You made an effort to look as though this almost late arrival of yours was planned and brushed a stray piece of hair out of the middle of your face coolly as you sat beside the General. At least he smelled nice, you were suprised at how many other officers here prioritized their jobs devotedly over absolutely everything else, even over personal hygiene.

 

Kylo Ren was only usually in attendance of these meetings when he was to be participating in the mission, or if he simpy felt like making an appearance when the event piqued his interest. He definitely wouldn’t be part of this one, and you also didn’t think he’d be intrigued enough about a routine mission to sit in on this briefing. He did show up to this one. But you had a feeling it wasn’t because of the Stormtroopers’ mission. 

 

Just as Phasma was about to begin he slipped in the door and a lower-ranking officer in the second row hurriedly gave up his seat without verbal request. Kylo had that effect on people. 

 

Phasma lit up the screen and began to introduce the premise and purpose of the mission, which squadron was being dispatched, what was being investigated, blah blah blah. It really wasn’t ‘blah blah blah’ though, it was without a doubt very important for many people to be informed. But to your ears it was just white noise. If someone were to ask you the simplest question about it afterwards you would be as useless as the new radar technician.

 

The meeting was slated to last about 45 minutes and at about the 5 minute mark Phasma’s voice was tuning out and then coming back in, the words on the screen were blurring in and out of focus, everything just felt so  _ heavy.  _ Until a firm jab in your left side brought you back to a state of half-attentiveness, you shook your head, straightened and looked forward. 

 

You blearily glanced over to the General whose brows were furrowed, he bore a tight-lipped expression as he looked you over. Not angry but concerned, much like a couple days ago when your mind had blanked at his very simple question. His eyes then prompted you to turn your attention back to Phasma, who was still talking as though she’d not noticed your brief lapse.

 

Looking at the clock, next to no time had really passed since the start, but the way this meeting was going, you’d go grey before it finished. You were able to hold on to about the halfway point of the presentation, still not retaining much but you hoped you looked mostly attentive. After this point, no amount of pokes in the ribs could prevent your blinks from becoming longer, breath slowing and head gradually rolling to the side to rest on what you believed in that moment to be the most comfortable shoulder in the world. 

 

When he felt the weight of your head on his shoulder, Hux gave up. He’d poked and prodded enough to sustain you until now but you were a lost cause. The meeting still had a good 20 minutes left at best and if he was being honest with himself, he knew there wasn’t much to be said that you weren’t already aware of.  Had you been any other person this would be their last meeting, last anything, actually, on this ship. But you were almost  _ friends,  _ so he made concessions. He visibly shuddered as the thought crossed his mind, which still didn’t wake you up. 

 

Almost immediately Hux felt an ache in the back of his head, one that didn’t dare present itself very often, but decided to appear now. He traced the ache to its source and decided to acknowledge him. Slowly turning his gaze to look over the heads of a row of attendees and make eye-to-mask contact with Ren who was already looking back at him. Presumably, glaring daggers, actually. If a person could scold someone with their eyes, that’s exactly what Hux did to Ren. He knew Ren was in his head already so he mentally hissed at him.

 

‘ _ You’re running her into the ground Ren, I’m sparing her these twenty minutes.’ _

 

Ren did the mental equivalent of huffing at him and crossing his arms. They brought their attention back to Phasma who, a couple minutes later as she continued to talk, briefly side-eyed you still contently napping on Hux’s shoulder and glanced at Hux who nodded at her to continue, which she did seamlessly. Phasma wasn’t an idiot either.

 

Soon enough the meeting ended and as people began to queue up or leave the room, you were startled back into the real world by a falling sensation which was actually just Hux gently shaking you awake. Nonetheless, you almost tumbled off the seat, but Hux held you steady at your shoulder and waist. 

 

You caught your breath and looked around furtively, rubbing at your eyes, feeling disoriented. 

 

“ _ What _ the actual fu’-”

 

“Your day off begins now.” Hux cut you off abruptly as he pulled you up to your feet, you swayed slightly but he straightened you quickly. You tried to tell him you were fine but one look from him told you now was not the time to fight him on this. You nodded and turned face first into a black mass as you felt two hands grasp your upper arms firmly. You looked up into a dark mask that meant business.

 

“You’re coming with me.” Kylo demanded. You looked up into the eye slit, guilt written all over your face. 

 

‘ _ Fuck, he knows.’ _

 

_ ‘Yes, he does.’  _

 

Normally Kylo Ren mentally referring to himself in the third person would have had you in stitches but now you simply nodded and allowed yourself to be pulled along with him, trapped in an iron grip. By the time you spoke up you were at the door to your shared quarters.

 

“Kylo I’m okay,  I swear this really isn’t necessary,” you pleaded, to this he merely snorted sarcastically. Through the helmet though, the snort sounded extra menacing. His hand placed on your lower back he gently guided you into the room to sit on the bed, lights remaining off. The mattress sunk beside you as he sat, helmet coming off.

 

“I don’t understand, I’m good, just lemme go back to work, I’ll take it easy I promi-”

 

“I will return tonight and we will talk then, but for your own sake, Y/N, go to sleep.” He cut you off quietly, exasperated.

 

You tried to argue, to prove that you could go back to work, but after he realized there was no way you’d give in, he calmly passed a hand over your face. As your eyes slipped shut and body went lax he guided you down to the bed and placed a blanket over you. Kylo looked down at your face guiltily. This was on him. And he would pick up the piecees. But right now, you needed a break and the only way to get one was when he wasn’t around. He sighed and placed a kiss on your forehead, brushing the hair out of your face, and whispered ‘Sleep well.’

 

With that, he grabbed his mask and headed back out the door. Tonight he would come back to you and explain everything.


	4. No More Bad Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo loves Y/N and Y/N loves Kylo and they're both so stubborn, but they always have each other's best interests at heart. Lots of fluffy cuteness to wrap things up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it!! Chapter 4/4. Sorry for the wait, I know I said 'the whole thing will probably be up within a week' but it's midterm season at uni, you know how it is...but hey at least I finished this one! Thanks to everyone for checking this story out, I really hope you enjoyed it.

Waking up with a jolt, you grasped frantically at the blankets that covered you inhaling sharply. Your head still a little foggy and aching, you looked around and realized you were in a bed. Alone. The clock beside you read 7:30. _ ‘Wait,7:30?!?! How in the fuck did I get here?’  _ you thought in a panic. The meeting was at 10:30, you recalled bits and pieces of it, Hux’s face flashed in your mind, short sound bites of Phasma’s presentation, beyond that though you mostly drew blanks. 

 

_ ‘And then what? Ohhh…. _ ’ the memory of Kylo escorting you back to the room and sitting you down on the bed slowly came back to you along with the events previous. You realize the meeting had finished around 11:30, meaning you’d just slept for seven hours straight for the first time in a week. 

 

At the foot of the bed on a folding table there was a covered platter of food, steam gently flowing out the little vents, filling the room with a pleasant aroma. You realized this was likely what woke you up. You probably could have slept until tomorrow morning had it not been for the savoury smells wafting towards you. 

 

Slowly you scooted over towards the food and lifted the cover, delighted to find your favourite meal right before your eyes, hot and fresh and yours for the taking. Stomach rumbling you picked up the utensils and dug in. Normally with this rare dish you liked to take your time and enjoy every bite but this time you neglected the appreciation part and devoured half the plate in about 5 minutes. The fact that the first few bites nearly burnt your tongue was irrelevant.

 

Just about to gobble down another bite you lifted the fork to your mouth, but were startled by the hissing of the opening door. The fork clattered to the plate making you wince. Through the door, Kylo entered the room looking as gloomy as ever, cape billowing behind him as he headed directly over to you, taking off his ~~god awful ridiculous~~ helmet. 

 

“You’re awake.” He remarked, looking over you, brows furrowed. You nodded, looking down at your meal and shoving food around your plate with the fork. 

 

“Yeah I smelled the food, thank you for that by the way, I’m starving.” Food didn’t get delivered without request, especially food like  _ this, _ so he’d evidently taken it upon itself to send dinner/lunch your way since you’d clearly missed both. How’d he know your favourite dish?

 

His arrival absolutely was not going to prevent you from finishing the plate before it got cold. You continued to shovel fork fulls into your mouth, sensing waves of tension coming off Kylo. Keeping your mouth full of food would give you an excuse to not have to confront whatever it was he had on his mind.

 

“I heard your desire for this meal during the meeting this morning.” He explained.  

 

“Hmm, I guess I was hungry, breakfast today was yet another dry, crumbly muffin and a coffee. This wins by a landslide.” You replied, shoving more food into your mouth and humming contently. Kylo shifted in place next to you, sighing.

 

“Let me rephrase. I  _ shouldn’t have _ heard your thoughts during the meeting this morning.” There it was. You gulped the last bite of food down your throat, diverting your gaze, from his intense one. You hesitated to answer, this wasn’t going anywhere good.

 

“Were they that loud?” you asked shamefully. He stood up from the bed, nearly knocking over the table that held the dishes. 

 

“Yes. And not just this once, I have heard more and more from you with each passing day and if you think Snoke isn’t going to take notice you are sorely mistaken. He already has.” His words clipped and angry. You froze, heart nearly stopping. You knew you’d been slipping this past week but you didn’t think it had gotten that bad. If Snoke was getting a whiff of this, it would be only a matter of time…

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked quietly, breathing shallow. During the initial training he would scold your promptly at even the slightest inkling of a thought leaking out your wall. 

 

At your words, he hesitated, briefly making contact with your fearful eyes, then quickly breaking it and fixing his gaze on his feet. A few moments passed in silence before he responded.

 

“Because, it’s not your fault, and you shouldn’t feel like it is.”  _ What?  _ Who’s fault would it be other than your own? You’d been slacking lately, probably distracted. Work had been demanding enough lately on it’s own and keeping up a mental wall, for months now, certainly wasn’t easy.  Kylo must have sensed your confusion, clearly not getting his point.

 

“This is on me, Y/N.  I am responsible for your lack of defenses and therefore it is my responsiblity to fix them before Snoke becomes more suspicious.” He was quiet now, pacing across the room to look out the window. 

 

At this you stood up, stretching out your stiff limbs before joining him. You reached out and laid a hand on his shoulderblade, stepping between him and the window.

 

“I don’t understand, why are you taking the blame for this, it’s my fault for not being focused.” 

 

“You have not been focused because you’re exhausted.” He replied simply, jaw clenching. His eyes met yours, they were filled with guilt and shame. A piece of hair fell in front of his face, you reached up to tuck it back behind his ear.

 

‘I’m fine Kylo, I swe-” before you could finish, Kylo snatched the wrist by his face. Kylo cut you off sharply, voice low and impatient.

  
  


“No. You’re not. If you were fine, Hux wouldn’t be here dragging you out of bed or barking orders at me to get you back on track . And you certainly wouldn’t be falling asleep in meetings.” His voice was escalating, his anger no longer boiling under the surface but steaming and piping hot. You couldn’t find the words to form an argument, because there really wasn’t one to be had. He continued his tirade vehemently.

 

“And don’t think for one second I don’t know why you left early this morning.” He was fully in your face now, you felt his breath and sheepishly looked up into his eyes where you detected a twitch. He was daring you to try to counter his words, but he knew he’d already won. 

 

He’d finally called you out. You knew he hadn’t been convinced with ‘bad dinner’ and definitely didn’t miss your exceptional difficulties with getting out the door on time every morning before that. The meeting nap incident was something you’d foolishly and silently hoped would fly under his radar. Kylo Ren was many things, but ‘dense’ wasn’t one of them. 

 

You had been drained in every sense, more than ever before. And this confrontation had been bound to happen any time, you just thought it might have happened this morning, which is why you’d fled so soon. 

 

“You’re right. I have been  _ fucking _ exhausted. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in a week and it’s finally caught up with me. And yeah I could’ve taken the couch and tried to sleep there but Kylo if you think I was gonna leave you all alone in this bed every night with those god awful nightmares you obviously don’t know me very well.” You snapped. He opened his trembling mouth and closed it, your words sinking in.

 

“It is my job to make sure you’re okay and to stay by your side through everything. Even if it means I go flying off the bed every night. It’s what I want and it’s my choice to endure it. And don’t you  _ dare _ take on the blame for that.” You finished with a stern finger pointing up at him, your lecture leaving you breathless.

 

Seconds passed, his gaze softened as he looked deep into your eyes, and you into his. Your faces within inches of each other. Neither of you were up to fighting over mutual stubbornness. And like you said, you weren’t normally sappy, but he needed to know in this moment what he meant to you. He released your hand from his death grip, allowing you to shake it out and regain feeling. He tensed and took a few deep breaths, then raised a hand to cup your cheek, tilting your head up to face him.

 

“My weakness is preventing me from letting go of what I’ve done. The visions are impacting your ability to defend yourself.  _ My  _ visions. You did not require the additional burden of rebuilding your defenses during this time. So I have been doing my best to shield you, but I cannot maintain this for much longer.” You stared up into his tired eyes, which had bags under them too, and remained silent.

 

“Snoke has brought it to my attention that he feels a presence in the Force on board. Yours. But he hasn’t located it yet and I will not allow him to.” He assured you, thumb brushing against your cheek softly, you leaned into his touch. 

 

“So what’s the plan?” you asked, almost in a whisper.

 

“We will resume your training in quieting your mind. Snoke will cease to sense a presence in the force and you will be safe again.” He answered with a nod, looking past your head out the window into the night sky. 

 

You took this as your cue to take your place on your cushion at your feet. Dropping down to your seat you gestured towards Kylo’s cushion, expecting him to join you. Instead he shook his head and extended a hand to you, pulling you back up to your feet, much to your confusion.

 

“Not tonight. You will rest and then we will begin tomorrow evening.”

 

“But I just slept through the whole day I’m good, let’s go.” You insisted as he looked you over, studying you curiously. Obviously doubtful, the slightest of smirks appeared on his face, causing you to grin in return. 

 

“Hm. I’m not convinced but, if you insist...” Kylo took your hands in his and guided you down to the ground. As you crossed your legs, it suddenly came to your attention that you were still in your uniform, which was absolutely not designed for comfort.

 

“Actually wait, I want to change into something more comfortable. The First Order obviously didn’t have mind-quieting exercises in mind when they made these things.”  You mentioned, fiddling with your top. Kylo nodded, still with a smirk as he gestured for you to go change. You stood to grab one of Kylo’s black t-shirts from the closet and some sweatpants of yours and headed into the washroom.

 

You quickly struggled out of your stiff uniform and slipped on the new outfit, sparing a glance up at the mirror as you let down your hair.  _ Oh stars. _ Turns out seven hours of sleep didn’t work as many wonders as you hoped it might. You looked like a fucking ghost. No wonder Kylo was doubtful about you training today. Oh well, you’ll just have to prove him wrong.

 

You tossed your uniform onto the bed and made your way over to where Kylo sat patiently, watching your every move. The man was looking for any excuse to dissuade you from training. You plopped down on the cushion, straightening your back and resting your hands on your knees, mirroring Kylo, waiting for direction. 

 

When you had first begun to train with Kylo so many months ago, building up your wall, the two of you would try to sit in deafening silence and meditate. You’d never been good at meditating before that, or functioning at all in complete silence, so Kylo’s initial strategy was a collosal disaster. Your thoughts would run rampant without direction, flying every which way and giving him a massive headache in the process. Eventually he discovered you needed a guide to get you started, to get you settled and help focus your energy. After a certain point you would get the hang of it and he would drop off. But until that point, he would talk you through the process himself. 

 

You were a little rusty and this time was much like it was in the very beginning. You fidgeted and scrunched your nose, huffing in frustration when you couldn’t centre yourself. Your focus had decided take its holiday this week, it seemed, and now more than ever you desperately needed it to return to work overtime. Especially right now, you had to prove to him you were ready to go. Recognizing this made you even more unsettled. This continued for a couple minutes until your eyes snapped open and looked to him, silently admitting you needed help.

 

Kylo, ever so perceptive, and oddly patient, looked across to you as you struggled. He leaned forward and extended his hand, resting on the back of yours, he began rubbing soothing circles. Your shoulders relaxed as Kylo continued his ministrations and began to speak softly, voice low and gentle. 

 

“Close your eyes.” You nodded and did as he said, and listened for further instructions. “Deep breaths, seven in, seven out.” You counted to seven as you inhaled air through your nose that smelled like him, comforting you even more. Your lungs filled up by the count of seven you exhaled slowly for another seven seconds. You repeated this several more times until Kylo spoke again, you clung onto his every word.

 

“Now feel all of your tension melt away. In your face, your shoulders, your arms, hands, down to your feet.” As you continued breathing deeply you felt yourself relax, muscle by muscle. 

 

“Imagine you are standing in a dark room, in this room, sunlight pours through a window, it shines on a pile of bricks underneath the windowsill.” 

 

You pictured these things, the sun through the window, the pile of bricks. But suddenly there was also a giant red exercise ball in the back left corner of the room. There was one in the gym on base that you told yourself you’d use for core workouts but you always ended up bouncing on it and rolling around on it. Kylo sensed your distracted thoughts and gently pulled you back.

 

“Come back to me, focus on my voice. Turn your attention to the bricks and the window.” The ball disappeared, you slowly headed towards the bricks. 

 

“Feel the calm and balance within you, the sunlight warms you, fills you with peace and focus.” With each word he said, you felt your body fill up with a pleasurable warmth. His steady voice and the sunlight were a cozy blanket on your shoulders. 

 

As he spoke you began to feel heavy, it was like you were floating on a raft in open water, surrounded by waves that rocked you back and forth slowly and gently. You felt safe, rising and falling. The waves carried Kylo’s words into your mind, you couldn’t piece them together into sentences, but that didn’t matter, the vibrations they carried felt lovely. And then soon enough, you saw no more bricks, no sunlight, no ocean, your mind was blank and you were sound asleep.

 

While you felt this, Kylo noticed your shoulders were sagging and your head drooped forward. He chuckled quietly to himself as he moved over to your side and guided you down slowly to lay your head in his lap.

 

“Looks like we’ll be starting tomorrow after all.”  He laid a hand on your shoulder and ran his fingers through your hair, brushing it out of your face, a grin beginning to form.

 

“Oh, Y/N. I regret to inform you but, I told you so.” He stayed put for several minutes, enjoying the warmth you provided and the calm that radiated from you. You were so peaceful and he didn’t want to disturb you but remaining on the hard floor wouldn’t be forgiving for either of you. 

 

He removed his hand from your face and scooped you up slowly into his arms so your head rested on his chest. Kylo began to quietly hum a lullaby as he carried you across the room and set you down on the bed. It was a melody that his mother and father used to lull him to sleep as an infant. He didn’t realize that’s where he’d drawn from but it seemed to please you, judging by the way the corner of your mouth turned up into the slightest of smirks, which in turn made him smile and chuckle quietly. 

 

He laid the warmest blanket on the bed over you and climbed in next to you, taking some sheets for himself. He draped an arm across your waist and the other arm rested underneath his head. He continued to hum softly, listened to your soft breaths, inhaled your intoxicating scent with each breath. He inched forward to hold you close to him and drew meaningless shapes on the exposed skin by your waist. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep beside you, and tonight, there were no bad dreams.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!! Decided to post a short little Kylo x Reader fic, also featuring everyone's favourite cranky ginger general, it will probably just be a few chapters. Whole thing will probably be up within the week. I haven't written in quite some time but I really hope you enjoy :)  
> Sidenote: If unfinished stories are your thing then check out my other story Crawl Home to Her which hasn't been touched in 2 years. I think it's good.


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